Not sure if it’s even possible to have a chemistry with Chemistry, but that doesn’t really matter.
Anyway, I’m having my Chemistry exam on Wednesday and I’m far from ready. While I’m aware that we’re technically never ready for anything (in which case, this would just be another one of those typical panic attacks), I’m also mindful of the fact that I’m probably not going to do as well as I would want to for Chemistry. Why? I guess it’s because it’s not my best subject.
It’s even more difficult to, well, “be good” at Chemistry when pretty much all my classmates are very scientifically oriented. It doesn’t really become a subject or even an obligation, for that matter. For my part, it almost becomes a competition. It’s scary.
Being an Asian girl who might be taking Philosophy in college (this explains why), I’m apparently more keen in figuring out whether or not adding water with water will make water more concentrated or more diluted. I don’t know if that’s a scientific thing, but it’s definitely mind-boggling. In other words, it’s hard to actually absorb all this…stuff…about bond shapes being trigonal planar (I like triangles), or the explanation for the boiling point of methane (or cow farts). Indeed, my scientific knowledge is downright rudimentary: shameful for a person who’s taking Higher Level Chemistry in the IB.
That being said, Chemistry can be interesting — when I understand it. Admittedly, I’m fond of the mathematical things such as equilibrium, kinetics and acidities. It’s not entirely because it’s an excuse for me to use the calculator — it’s just more fun to be playing with numbers than big words such as, I don’t know, the IUPAC name for Titin. Then again, phenolphthalein probably isn’t any better — to the point that we almost decided to name our a cappella group after that indicator. Fun stuff? Probably.
Being my Higher Level subject that I’m not particularly fond of (which makes me question my decision time and time again, though I really don’t regret it) often has me wondering if I really should be taking it as seriously as I try to. I mean, lucky for me that I don’t have the type of pressure known as conditional university offers (something nonexistent to the colleges I’ve applied to in America, so that explains things), so technically it shouldn’t be that big of a deal to me, right? But then again, it’s my Higher Level subject. Subconsciously, I wanted to make something about of Chemistry when I first chose to take it at the Higher Level instead of Standard.
What I really wanted to achieve with Chemistry, then, is the question. Guess there’s no answer to that. Yet.